my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
And then he peed in my hair
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
