So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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