My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
