about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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