Your mouth is God's brothel.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i will never coherently bang her
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
