just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Be still, my beating vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
