bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
