i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
