I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
