DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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