yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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