im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize