Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize