Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
