i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
