I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
