It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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