We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
