my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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