I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
