That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
