My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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