we have officially lost it.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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