whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize