Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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