I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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