He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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