Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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