Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
