Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize