just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
