He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
