She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
