...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
