Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize