Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sorry my hands just texted you
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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