Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
