3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
