I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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