I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
