I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
