sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize