new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
