And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
