The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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