I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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