We're facebook friends in real life
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
