theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
