My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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