Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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