Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
