sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
