i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
