During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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