She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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