I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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