his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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