You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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