Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
