Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
