I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
