I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
