HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
