sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
