You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize