just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize