I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
