Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
