Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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