she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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