I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
